Its been a little while crocodiles. I suppose thats what happens when you actually have more than one client at a time and you go on vacation.
Alas, first world problems.
If you were paying attention you just read "more than one client." Could my world be any more exciting? For real, though, it was kind of one of those big deal moments. First there was the thrill, then a hot second of panic and back to elation.
You see I spent a loonnnnggg time dreaming about making my passion into an actual career. There was a lot of self doubt. What if I'm not any good? What if it tanks? What if...you fill in the blanks. For anyone out there who has have dreamed big about getting paid to do what they love its quite a game of mental ping pong. For me, I finally got tired of putting my energy into thinking about what could happen and pretending like I had control over anything and just decided to go for it.
Its kind of this new chapter in my life I am exploring. I call it taking a play from the Constanza book. For any of you avid Seinfeld watchers out there, you will recall the episode where George does exactly the opposite of what he is usually does. It turns out everything works out for him.
I can't say for sure that everything is going to turn out just great for me. But, I have to say at least I am not wasting anymore time thinking about what could have been. Control is one of the greatest illusions we convince ourselves of. And if you've ever stood back to assess a situation, usually the more we try to control the more out of control things become. Control provides us with a sense of safety. Who doesn't like to feel safe? But the more important question may be is how happy are we in our perception of safety. My good friend, Kaydence always talks about just approaching change with one degree of difference. It doesn't have to be huge, it doesn't have to be exactly the opposite, but it does need to be something because something is better than nothing at all.
I encourage you to listen to your heart. And go for a little bit of change.....
Maybe buy the black pillow instead of the white one. Maybe change your headboard. Maybe change your sofa. Sometimes you don't realize how stuck you are until your not.