I'm working on a bedroom with a client right now and having a blast. We have purchased a new headboard, bedding, a mirror and a dresser. Unfortunately, there was a small glitch with the dresser. It didn't have the space she needed for all of her clothes, so we decided to look for something bigger. And guess what. I found one. It was beautiful, vintage with some amazing woodwork and plenty of room. I sent a picture of it to my client and she LOVED it. So I went and picked it up and brought it to her house. My friend's husband and my husband were gracious enough to help us lug this beast up the stairs to her room. And guess what?
It was too big. And the color in her room was way more yellow.
I could feel the disappointment. Whether it was mine or hers or both it just wasn't right for the room. I suggested repositioning some of the furniture. But in the end we both knew the solution.....
And so in the most loving of ways, I asked our movers to take it down and load it back up.
I could tell she was embarrassed to ask them to do lug it back downstairs. I was bummed it didn't fit the space the way I had envisioned.
How often in life do we think something is going to go a certain way and it doesn't go the way we had planned at all? For me, that was motherhood with my first child. I wanted so desperately to be a mom. It took us three years to finally conceive a child. The joy and elation gave way to reality. I had what Dr. Sears (an expert in child rearing) would classify as a "high needs" baby. She cried a lot. I couldn't set her down. She would be sound asleep in my arms after an hour of nursing and the minute I put her in her crib she would wake up screaming and we would have to start the whole process over again. I was exhausted and miserable. This was not what I had thought it was going to be like. Eventually it got better. Honestly, what helped the most was getting more sleep AND I had to let go of what I thought what would be for what really was.
Time and time again we are forced to look at our script. That vision or that scenario we created for ourselves about how things are going to go....
Life has a funny way of teaching us about ourselves.
In the case of the dresser, I could have gotten upset with myself. I could've been mad at my client. But I wasn't either of those. How else are we able to learn if we don't make mistakes? We both thought it was going to look a certain way and it didn't. I know how difficult it must have been for her to ask the guys to take the dresser back downstairs. I admired the hell out of her for doing so. She could just as easily kept it and rearranged some furniture and just accepted it. I'm glad she had the courage to vocalize that it wasn't a good fit. We had to rewrite the script. And we did. We opted to go for some nightstands that offer additional storage and kept the dresser that she loved. We re-listed the other dresser and sold it a week later.
What I offer to you is this: let go of avoidance to make mistakes, give yourself permission to learn. So you bought the pillow that looked great in the store and you brought it home and you hate it. Thats ok. Because a lot of times we learn about what we DO love by finding what we DON"T love. Its a process. If you don't love it, don't make yourself suffer. Nothing is permanent unless you choose to let it be.